


You and Me Are Two

by misura



Category: The Breakfast Club (1985)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-07 11:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5454743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So have you actually ever cut someone?" Brian asks. "Like, for real?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and Me Are Two

**Author's Note:**

  * For [callmeri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmeri/gifts).



"So have you actually ever cut someone?" Brian asks. "Like, for real?"

Bender gives him a look that says _you are an idiot_ and _I could almost pity you, if pity was in my emotional repetoire_. It takes a bit of getting used to, that look, but Brian figures he's managed it pretty well by now. "Like, _not_ faking it with the blood and the screaming and everything? Hmmm. Let me think about that. _Yes._ "

Not quite the answer he was expecting. "Oh."

"Does that turn you on, Bri? Being all alone with a big, bad man who's actually cut people? Would you like it if I took it out right now and showed it to you? Because I can do that, you know. _If_ you ask me nicely. Come on, say 'please', now."

_Yes to both questions._ "Shut up. I don't believe you, anyway. Like, who'd you cut, huh?"

The thing is, Brian thinks, it's not _real_. It's only a _fantasy_ he's got hidden away in some deep, dark corner of his mind, like that magazine with naked ladies he got from Jeff who got it from Daniel who got it in the mail from his brother in Miami.

He doesn't _really_ want to hang with a guy who goes around cutting people, but it's kind of cool to imagine hanging with a guy whose response to someone shoving him in the hall or calling him a geek or a dweeb is to pull out a knife and say something like _Dare you to say that again. Faggot._

_Didn't think you would. Asswipe._

"I've cut plenty of people," Bender says. "Lots."

"Let me guess: I don't know any of them, because they all live in Canada."

"Not all of them." Bender shrugs. " _Some_ of them live in China."

Brian grins, relieved. A small part of him is a little disappointed, maybe. A little. "Right. Cool."

"You're mental, you know that?" Bender's expression is disgusted.

"Hey. _I'm_ not the one carrying a knife."

"I know. You prefer flare guns. So hey, _flared_ anyone yo death lately?"

Brian's told his parents some bullshit story about what he was doing with a flare gun, that it was supposed to be a prop in some physics experiment or something. He heard the words come pouring out of his mouth, until he stopped talking and then it was just silent.

And then Mom said _well, that was stupid, wasn't it? me and your Dad didn't raise you to be_ stupid _, young man_ and they never talked about it again.

"It wasn't - I wasn't going to - _ever_."

Bender gives him that special look again. "What, you'd rather get bullied? 'Oh, no, I can't hurt _someone else_! But I really want to hurt _someone_! What should I dooo? Wait, I've got it - it's brilliant! I'll - ' "

"Stop." _It wasn't like that._ "It was stupid. I know it was stupid." _The light didn't go on. The_ fucking _light didn't go on._ "I don't get _bullied_."

"No? Now, don't you go lying to me again, young man," Bender says, and Brian thinks it's disturbing how Bender is able to pull off this perfection imitation of his mother's usual tone of voice while only having met her once. (It didn't go particularly well.) "You don't get bullied? Would that be 'ever', or more along of the lines of 'well, maybe once or twice, but it was really my own fault and they were just so _nice_ about it that I really don't mind - oh, and did I mention they are totally _cool_ and _popular_? really, it was almost an _honor_ '."

"Ever. And come on, dude, that's messed up. Nobody talks like that."

Bender cocked his head. "But people _think_ like that. Don't they? I mean, you may still be a loser, but at least you got picked on by someone popular. At least you got _noticed_."

" _You're_ not popular," Brian says.

"Guess that makes you the lowest head on the totem pole, huh?"

"Whatever." Brian's seen Andy walk by a couple of days, and Claire, too, surrounded by girls wearing pink. He'd like to think they didn't see him back, that that's why they ignored him. It's not that they didn't _want_ to see him or anything.

_Liar, liar, pants on fire._

"So you get bullied _and_ you're still a virgin." Bender shakes his head sadly.

_And whose fault is that last one?_ Not that Brian's 100% sure what he'd do if Bender offered, or asked, or however it is that people suggest stuff like that to other people.

In the movies and on TV, people just seem to _know_. Like they're all mind-readers or something. One moment, they're only making out a little, kissing on the mouth, with all their clothes on, and the next, they're naked in a bed. (Or, well, Brian assumes they're naked. It's not as if you can see for sure.)

Reality's a lot trickier.

"It's OK for guys to be virgins," Brian says. "Girls, too, of course."

"Of course it is." Bender's tone suggests that of course it is _really not_. "Your choice. Except that it's not exactly your choice, is it?"

"Well, half, I guess. Because it takes two to ... do it. But I really think in that situation, it's more like two choices, you know, like one each? Not one and half each? I mean, _you_ make a choice and _I_ make a choice and that's two, not one." _Getting a little too personal there, Brian._ "Or that's how I think it is, anyway."

"You _think_."

"Yes," Brian says. Firmly, he hopes. "I guess it's different that way from you never having actually used your knife to cut someone - not that I _want_ you to cut someone, obviously, but that'd be _your_ decision, not - " _Ours._

"Damn right it's mine." Bender scowls. "And know what? It'd be the stupidest thing I ever did. You know what a crapload of trouble cutting someone'll get you in? Huh? Do you?"

Brian feels oddly embarrassed, like he's just gotten caught fantasizing with one hand stuck down his pants. "Yes." Everyone knows that people who go around cutting other people are crazy.

Unless it's in a movie or on TV and they're actually kind of the good guys, and even then, they're more likely to be _shooting_ people - or shooting _at_ people, anyway.

There's almost never any blood. Not a lot of screaming, either. Like it's all just a game.

Bender turns his head, staring off at nothing in the distance.

"So why would you carry around one, anyway?" Brian asks. "I mean, if you're never going to use it?"

"I never said I wasn't ever going to use it." Bender looks at him. "I only said it would be a stupid decision if I did."

_'Me and your Dad didn't raise you to be_ stupid _, young man.'_

"Oh. OK, fair enough."

" _And_ I said it turned you on. Was I wrong? The truth now, Bri. Would you still be so desperate to have me pop your cherry if it wasn't for the fact that I'm carrying something sharp and shiny?"

Brian's face feels like it's on fire. It's not, of course; the Laws of Physics are pretty clear on the (im)possibilities of spontaneous human combustion.

Bender grins at him, all smug, and Brian says, "Yes. I would."

It doesn't _quite_ wipe the grin away, but it gets rid of most of the smugness.

"What happened to it being OK for guys to be virgins, huh?" Bender asks.

Brian shrugs. "It's also OK for guys _not_ to be virgins. And, I mean, we've been sort of going out for, what, like six months? Well, five months and twenty-six days, but still."

"Gee. Almost missed our anniversary, huh? I guess I should buy you dinner or something."

"That'd be cool," Brian says. "Only, we can't go to my place, after, because my parents would definitely notice, and they don't like you already, and my little sister wakes up at _everything_. Like yesterday, she woke up because our neighbor's neighbor's neighbor's cat had gotten locked out or something - I mean, it wasn't even loud and it still woke her up. So that's just not an option."

"Bri. I got it."

Brian's been to Bender's place a few times, less often than Bender's been at _his_. It was pretty much everything he expected it to be.

Bender's room's got a lock on it, though. So that might be OK. Not ideal, but OK.

Now all Brian needs is a cover story, a good lie. A study night at a friend's, maybe. He'll have to promise to call, but he can do that, easy. There's a phone at Bender's house, in the kitchen that smells of beer and weed and cigarettes.

That won't be fun or anything, but worth it. Bender's room smells sort of all right. His bed's a little old, but comfortable enough for sitting on, so it's probably good enough for lying down on, too.

Brian won't have a clue what to do after they've gotten their clothes off, of course, but he's pretty sure Bender does, so that's going to be fine. He can imagine Bender saying, _Bri. I got you_.

He can imagine trusting Bender to, indeed, 'get him'.

"Cool. So can I pick where we're going to have dinner this time?"

"Only if you're paying," Bender says. "Perv."

Brian really wonders if Bender can read his mind sometimes. "You talk about that kind of stuff all the time. Like - " _Like you talk big about cutting people and beating them up._

_Oh. Huh._

"I'm not a virgin, if that's what you're thinking," Bender says.

"You got lots of one-night stands with guys you met at the Niagara Falls?" Brian asks, adding, because he was the one who was all about doing _that_ being a choice of two people, not one, "Sorry."

"A couple."

"It can just be dinner. We got to eat, right? Everybody's got to eat. And after, we'll just see. Would that be all right?" _Please say that would be all right._

"Yeah," Bender says. "All right. I'm warning you, though. No flowers."

"I'm OK with flowers," Brian says. He'll just tell his parents they're from, well, someone. He might even be allowed to put them up in his room, if he promises he'll water them and stuff.

"Flowers are not exactly in the budget, but I'll see where I can steal some."


End file.
